Deetjen and I went to the grocery store yesterday, and I dropped about 80 bucks on food and beer. Our plan was to hole up in her apartment, and watch football all day. The beer was necessity, the food was a bonus.
We drank, we ate, and we played Scattegories during the commercial breaks. Me, her, my brother Ran, Jay and Mikey Ney.
Somehow, we decided to go to Bruno's for the second game. OUR game. Go, Pats.
We won of course; I knew we would.
I don't know how many shots of Jager I did. I'm thinking around 8. That's 2 shots to every beer.
It was snowing when we left the bar. I knew it was coming, because it was snowing at the game, and it was a home game. Only a matter of time until it comes north.
So anyways, I left with Jay, and we went to Turf's. It's a sports bar where the guys play indoor football every Sunday.
Commense to more drinking. The boys got creamed, 38-6. I knew they would, since I had been drinking with them all afternoon.
It's a little foggy after the game ended. I can remember hitching a ride back to Deetjen's with Jay.
I remember my car being in a different spot than I left it.
I woke up and looked out the window.
It did, indeed snow. My car is still in the "new" spot, and Bushey is parked on the lawn.
Oh well, at least I'm not hungover, and at least the Pats WON.
Dobbah, "Man, there had better be a Little Caesar's at one of the airports."
Deetjen, " You never got your Crazy Bread! Oh, I never got my donuts! We should have spent more time driving around and less time drinking."
Well, we arrived at the Airport around 11:28, handed the Jeep over to Eggy, and made our way inside. We were the lucky recipients of an extra search. Star Search, says the man with the rubber gloves.
I raised an eyebrow and said, "Why the gloves?"
We found a bistro that serves big glasses of Sam Adams. Deetjen just told Eggy about our search.
Eggy, " I knew it, I knew it. You guys look shady. Like terrorists."
What a fruitcake.
Now to finish our beer, and find a smoking lounge.
Fuck the smoking lounge. We're lighting up at Back Bay Bistro. So long as we tell clean jokes says the black man with a badge.
What is a squeezebox, anyways?
12:55~~ Just split a Lorazapam. Fifteen minutes until boarding.
Hope we find some friends in Cinci.
1:01~~ I'm feeling groovy.
Well we are shmoozing at Ida's Seat, a Cincinnati Tavern right here in the airport.
Apparently, we have to find a McDonald's to smoke, but not before ossing back a couple of Christian Morlein's and some crab dip.
(comes highly recommended from the waitress with the Jagermeister necklace.)
It's about 4:20 and we have couple hours to kill before moving on to Portland.
And back to our lives. I'll drink a big "ugh" to that.
6:53~~ Our flight has been bumped to 7:10, so we're drunk and sitting in the smoking lounge. We've made friends here, but te people aren't as friendly as they were in Atlanta. God-damned northern SNOBS. We had ordered shotsof Sambuca since the tavern sold no Jager. I drank mine and finished Deetjen's. My bag is SO EFFING HEAVY. I knew that GWAR poster would push me over the edge.
Deetjen is mimicking Eggy to someone on the phone, and I am smoking way too fast.
I think we're going to Sam's for drinks and 2 for 1 pizzas when we get home.
Deetjen writes: I just bought a Jagrmeister neklace for Terina Beana!! I love Terina and I want her to come to Aruba with Eggy. Eggy wants to go too. He's not sure. I am drunk and we did Sambuca. I don't want to go home!! Terina wants to see Cyrus and have sex with Skeeter.
I had sex this morning. I love Eddie. I should have taken that job at the Bowling Alley! Or--I could have applied at th waffle house!!! /Deetjen
Thank you, Greg Hall, for all the drinks and your autograph.
Best Bartender EVAH.
Mannnn. Apparently, we just missed our flight. So now it's 7:45 and we can't leave until 7, oops, 11pm.
At this rate, we should be arriving in Portland, sometime around 1am.
How am I going to work with a hangover, and no sleep?
Everyone here at Ida's loves us, since this is our 5th time back here.
Some lady said she paged us, and I call Bullsheet.
We were RIGHT NEXT DOOR.
Man, we are so fucked.
I am cracking up because this doesn't surprise me in the least.
Deetjen writes: OH MY GOD!!! We missed the flight. All I wanted was another hour. Not 4- Hello.
Thi is fun. We just came to get one more beer. We will be reeeeally drunk by then. Usually, my penmanship is better than this. I'll try. Starting now. This is fun. Um wasted. You would think they would move the smoking lounge close to the bar!!! /Deetjen
A fresh start-
Problem #1- Deetjen already lost her ticket
Problem #2- Concourse C, instead of B
Problem #3- We're wasted
Problem #4- My bag is HEAVY
Problem #5- This mean guy won't get Deetjen a bag
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We found a man named Richard and we are getting drunk with him. He's on our flight!!!!!
Small world. I'm drunk here at 'Overthe Rhine', in the Cincinnati Airport. I wanna go home! My goodness I am fucked up.
P.S. we found a man.
Deetjen writes: Okay- here is the story. I am drunk, I threw up in my pocketbook on the floor everywhere. I lost my bag with my Obagi shit. $500.00 worth of products. Eddie doesn't love me, he's mad. The man next to us is nice. But we stole his pretzles and cookies. I threw some back because he is going to buy us a beer. Wow, I don't want to work ever again. I will be a Gypsy!!! /Deetjen
Deetjen never did find her bag, and I am certain that I'll never see my cell phone again. We arrived in Portand right on time, and while Deetjen waited for our ride, I went poking around the rooms by the luggage carousel. Good thing I did. I managed to find one of her checked bags that the airline "lost".
Congratulations to the lucky recipients of a Nokia phone, and some Obagi products.
So I decided to ring in the New Year with some friends in Richmond. How bad could it be?
The plan was to drive my friend's boyfriend's Jeep Cherokee down from Portland, spend a few days in Richmond, and then fly out of Norfolk come Monday afternoon.
And it all started here....
Thursday 12/30 - 3:12pm~~ Let's hit it! Destination Richmond. YAY.
3:22~ Filling it up a Mobil.
Deetjen to cashier, " You guys are a PAIN."
Note to self* Portland has a cute police officer but his pants are WAY too short.
4:21~~Rehab at exit 51A for future reference.
Hospital at exit 46 for future reference.
Only 21 more exits until #8.
(out of 23)
(and we skipped 5)
Crows! They're everywhere. Heads up.
4:52~~ Hi Ernie! (passing through Chelmsford)
Son of a preacher man!
67 miles to Providence.
Begin 290 at 5:14.
5:29~~ Welcome to Worcester. Dallah Twinty Five.
Matt Damon works a tollbooth in Sturbridge. Who knew?
Connecticut welcomes us @ 5:58.
Exit 69/ Putnam (haha)
Service Area for Gas, and there is a black man washing the windsheild. Lock your fucking doors.
Cars with televisions: III
Pee Break in Wallingford, CT @ 6:54.
Deetjen found the vending machine.
CRIKEY! An elusive Fog Area.
Apparently, the Deetj has burned an entire tank of gas by going 90. Just outside of the Big Apple; that would be the city and not the store.
I spy a Mickey D's. Fries, anyone?
It's pretty sketchy here, so we're opting for Drive Thru.
CHEATED on the dollar menu. Bastids.
GetMillerized.com
47 miles to NYC.
School Bus Depot at 8:30.
Welcome to the Big Apple!!!
(avoid eye contact)
We've got heavy delays and flirtacious negros on the Geo. Wasington Bridge.
God and baby Jebus, I'm getting high off the deisel fumes.
I can't afford to lose brain cells in traffic.
We are now going 47 miles BELOW the speed limit.
So much for 90.
9:09~~ Where the FUCK is the bridge?!?
Skid Row! I LOVE Sebastian.
Almost up tp 25.
Deetj, "WHOA! Are we moving?"
9:21~~ Finally!!! We're boogeying now.
It appears the Big Apple has a taste for Disco.
YAY for ABBA.
9:27~~ Welcome to New Jersey.
Gambling Problem? 1-800-GAMBLER
10:00~~ Cruising down the Joisey Pike. The music statins are quite eclectic. I'm either headbanging or wishing to pop a tab of E.
Somehow, we bypassed a couple of tollbooths.
Go, Team Jeep.
Xyon just called to check on me.
Making note to tell him why I was laughing.
11:02~~ Found some tollbooths.
I just had a strange experience, but I'm too tired to get into it. I'll just leave it at something that involved a guy, a car, and the turnpike.
I'm singing along to U2's Bloody Sunday while Deetjen yawns.
Just got reamed for $6.40 sincewe idn't have a ticke.
Deetjen to booth dude, "How come we don't have a ticket?"
Dude shakes his head, "I have no idea how you girls managed that."
AND NOW I HAVE A PAPERCUT.
Sign says- Aggressive Driver~ Patrols in use.
11:14~~ Welcome to Delaware.
Although Deetjen is HELL on wheels, so they'll probably be happy to see us go.
11:23~~ Gas stop.
MY FUCK ARE WE EVER GOING TO GET THERE????!?????
I'm getting sleepy and we still have 200 miles to go. ACK.
Whose idea was this anyways?
12:30AM~~ I see Baltimore.
About friggen time.
What? More tolls?!
Spirit in the sky! I need to jam.
It's 3AM and Deetjen is ready to drive us off the next really BIG bridge. We're minutes away, and it hasn't been easy.
Somebody give that girl a cookie.
I think I'm ready to get drunk now.
We made it at 3:30.
Beer and a sofa bed.
So much for a good night's sleep.
The journey was winding down, we still hadn't found
the Maine Bucket, and the little grey Saab was ailing
horribly.
We were on the highway now, for the last leg of the
trip. Xyon saw a sign for Freeport, and mentioned that
he would like to stop at L.L. Bean.
I'm afraid that Gawdess and I had Portland on our
minds, and even tried to dissuade him a little. But
stop we did, and dropped him off at the door, deciding
we would wait in the car. The poor guy was actually
going to try to cram all 3 floors into 5 minutes, and
I started to feel guilty. Gawdess and I headed inside,
stopping at a hot dog cart on the way in. The hot dog
sucked and the lemonade was worse. I was dumping my
waste of money in the trash when we spotted Xyon
heading back towards the car. We apologized for being
shmucks, and headed back inside, telling him to take
all the time he needs.
We split up at one point, and while Gawdess and Xyon
were in the shoe department, I headed to homegoods.
First thing I spotted was an unstained pine bucket
with a rope handle. No. Couldn't be.
I pick it up and see "Maine Bucket" stenciled on the
side.
HA!
I head back to my friends and tell them to guess what
I was holding behind my back.
"Maine Bucket?!" Gawdess was correct, and I was
gloating I was so proud of myself.
Gawdess and I laughed at how we never even thought to
check Bean's, since by now it made all the sense in
the world it would be here, of all places.
I went with Xyon to the service desk while he shipped
his purchase back home. Mission accomplished.
We took some pictures of the B.A.B(Big-Ass Boot) on
the way out, and set out for Portland. Gawdess was
asleep in minutes.
So here is an entry from my RL journal, to catch up.
"It is with great love and much affection that I dedicate the LAST PAGE to Xyon.
This journal has seen me through layovers and relapses, from barhopping to banquets.
Speaking of relapses, Deetjen and I are celebrating on Halloween's Eve.
To prove it, she just permed and dyed my hair,
She has a habit of playing with my hair when she's fucked up..
I think it may actually grow on me.
*I'm upstairs right now, sitting beside Daniel on the blue couch.
Ran, Heidi, and Michelle are sitting on the other couch, and we're watching Spike T.V.
I hear 2 seperate conversations and I can make out neither.
Red Bank, Tn is on the car chase part now.
Bucksport, Me was on the other, a half an hour ago.
this past weekend was KICKASS.
gawdess had bought me a ticket to go and see one of my favorite singers, EVER. his name is ellis paul, and some might only recognize his voice from a brief song on the 'me myself and irene' movie soundtrack.
to compensate, i had offered to buy dinner in the restaraunt downstairs.
i had to work until 3:30 on saturday, but i busted out as quick as i could, and headed home to shower. i could barely contain myself.
we made it to the restaraunt early, and they showed us to the table, we're we proceeded to dine like royalty.
pan seared duck for myself, and lobster ravioli for gawdess. in retrospect, we probably went a little too heavy on wine and glace.
the show didn't start until 9, so we headed out to taste the nightlife of the gay community called ogunquit.
it's a beautiful little town nestled on the atlantic ocean, and all the cars have rainbow stickers. there are gay postmen, and policemen. gay tourists, and gay locals.
gawdess and i decided to do some shopping, and we set out to 'the flaming gourmet' to buy some birthday presents for our bi-sexual best friend, who likes to cook. the woman at the counter asked whose boyfriend it was. both, was our reply. she commented him on being a lucky fellow, and i told her he wouldn't think so with his asshole bleeding from all the hot sauces we had just purchased.
we moved onto the piano bar, a first in itself, for us. and the fact it was a gay piano bar was even better.
we ordered our drinks and moved over to the grand piano in the corner, to get in on the action. people were sitting and standing, many with arms around each other, and absolutely EVERYBODY was singing. mostly show tunes, and i recognized one from 'mary poppins' and one from 'the sound of music'. the little gay man playing the piano had talent, if not a boyfriend.
it was hard to leave, but we had to get going.
the show was upstairs in the restaraunt, and it was a dimly lit room with small tables covered in blue linen, and tealight candles everywhere. our seats were 3 feet from the stage.
it's 5 pm and i just made it to the little bar in the
airport. i guess i didn't realize how much 33 oz of
beer can be.
GAWD help me, this thing is ENORMOUS. xyon will be
here in less than a half hour. YAY!
james taylor is singing about fire and rain from the
speakers in the ceiling, and i look around wondering
who is coming and who is going.
i blew the window/sunroof fuse in the saab today, and
i just blew another one as i was pulling in the lot.
what's up with that?
i had started drinking around noon with gawdess, and
when brooks showed up around 1, i drank some more. we
parted ways, but not for long. met up with gawdess
around 3 for another drink(or 2).
fucking lushes.
5:07 now. a big beer makes time fly i'm thinking. so
does a good buzz.
looks like rain out there. maybe i should try and fix
the fuse before we leave the garage?
making mental note to pick up 'winged migratin' and
bird food.
maybe i'll remember.
something tells me i'll still be working on this beer
when xyon touches down.
5:11 and barely dented.
YES!!!! creedence is on. i think i'll move seats and
freshen up on the shipyard story.
moving onto the next page.
don't wait, flip the page to find out!!!
----------------------------
next page
cliff notes, shipyard ale
in 1992, fred forsely, a real estate consultant with a
talent for putting together successful business
relationships, was hired to explore new options for a
troubled retail development in kennebunk, maine.
i give up, although it does seem like an interesting
story.i think xyon is here, maybe even sitting beside
me.
maybe not, this guy doesn't appear to have an accent.
drink another one, dobbah.
about 5:15 now, is that him or what?
this guy has bags. fuck, i wish i had bothered to look
at his picture now.
damn, i am buzzed.
i'm feeling like i am going to be drunk very
soon.maybe he's calling me.
nope, wasn't him.
maybe i'll draw and think about it.
5-29-04
walked down to the bakery this morning for breakfast,
and we finally were able to watched 'winged migration'
from start to finish. almost en route to baah haahbah.
gawdess and xyon are on the prowl for cheap sunglasses
in the dollar store as i write this in the saab,
jamming to 'heaven'.
dropped off skeeter's glasses- check
borrowed a gazetteer- check
illegal trash run- check
roadtrip munchies- check
all we need now is my bank and a shitload of fuses
before heading out on a mad search for warblers and
witch stores.
awww....there back and xyon has a boat hat. atta boy.
let's hit it...
my dearest tom gilbert,
something made me pull into that flea market on route
1 that fateful saturday morning. i thought i just
needed to stretch my legs, but as i started pawing
through the vast amounts of trash and treasure, i knew
i would find something just for me.
i had wandered away from my friends, as usual, and
into a small shed filled with antique swords and
chinese stars.
the old box of cassetttes looked a little out of
place, but seeing as i had a tapedeck in the saab; i
thougt i could find some music for the trip to acadia.
george michael, cher, and jethro tull had nothing on
the jimi hendrix with the handwritten jacket.
gawdess had asked to look at the case, and it was then
that we found the small cutout of a naked woman
wrapped in cellophane. you must have masturbated to
that picture while listening to 'the wind cries mary',
i'll bet. i was a little disturbed that you felt the
need to personalize it, but hey, to each his own.
either way, it was the score of the day, and i tank
you for it.
5-30-04(7:45am)
gawdess and i are journaling in the saab as xyon
searches diligently for a boreal chickadee. the wind
is cranking up here on the summit of cadillac
mountain, and the gulls are gliding dangerously close
to my open sunroof. we went out to taste the nightlife
of bar harbor last night, and found a club with a
small, yet eccentric menu. smoking inside was an added
bonus, and we made the most of it. we passed out drunk
in the king size bed of room 17 at the days inn.
i was the first one up and out the door, in search of
the elusive continental breakfast. the sun on the
water at the ferry terminal across the street was
blinding.
i hope xyon didn't blow off....nope, he didn't; he's
back and is now downloading pictures onto the laptop.
*quote of the day*
this is so cool, i'm going to get pictures, and
videos..ALL THIS SHIT. ~xyon
Monday, June 7th, 200412:06 pm
some weekend
My Friday was so horrible at work, I couldn't even find the strength to drink come nightfall. The dude came over, and we went to the grocery store and bought steak, fried, and broccoli for dinner. I crashed hard, and woke up to him standing over me with a steaming plate of food. sitting up long enough to eat, I fell asleep not long after.
That's about 3 movies from Xyon that I've only started, but not yet finished.(I'm working on 'em:)
Anywho, had some morning sex that next morning, and when he went to leave, I told him to take his ice cream if he wanted; since I was not sure if I would be coming home that night.
I get on with the day; do some laundry, run my mother's friend on some errands, and gas up the little grey Saab for destination: Manchester, NH.
Jeremy lives there. I met him on Yahoo, back when they still had the conversations, and that was about 3 years ago. I've been down a few times before, and we always have a great time.
I don't think i have ever fucked up so bad on directions. One wrong turn and that was all she wrote. Actually, that one wrong turn, turned into several, and I drove through the same toll booths a good 3 times before finally getting it right.
I got there intime to catch a good buzz, and we went out to a steak house/martini lounge for supper. Great food, Good Beer, and a sexy dude by my side.
Yeah, I could have done worse.
The next day was low-key. Jeremy cooked a breakfast of champions, and as the roomates headed out for the day, we laid around and watched Sopranos on Demand. About 6 episodes. They returned just in time to order pizza, and we watched Gothika, before I set out for home around 6:30.
Home by 8, I check my messages, and find 9 new voice messages. 3 from the dude, 1 really pissed off one.
So I call him up, and he comes over with a little pot and a movie. Goldmember.
We had sex before I fell asleep, spent from all the driving, and a kickass orgasm.
We were lying in bed this morning when he lights a cigarette, staring at the ceiling.
him"sooo...do you sill consider me your boyfriend?"
i'd been waiting for this.
me"no. not since you broke up with me in march."
him"okay, that's what i wanted to know."
me"you okay with that? it's not going to change."
him"yeah. yeah....are you seeing other people?"
me"i plan to."
him"will you tell me?"
me"yep."
so, there it is.
3 years of being single and strung out as hell. I clean up, and I have men coming out of the woodwork.
Go figure.
Maybe they weren't lying when they said drugs are bad :)
